明显的缺点

每个人都有自己的理想，但又有多少个人是真的能达成呢？

直到如今，我仍然未能达成我的理想。庆幸的是，我知道我错在哪，该怎么改；不幸的是，我是个非常懒散，没原则的人，没采取任何行动，没去争取。

从一个觉得自己很不错的人，现已经堕落道连自己也看不起自己的人。

我只知道，现在能挽救自己的人，只有我自己。

My life is bigger than what you had installed for me

I know I have more request than what I could currently produce, but believe it or not, my achievements is far greater than what you expect.

The reasonable or unreasonable things that I have requested you and myself today might seem like it is unnecessary and it won't show mush better result. But my small improvement today is the key for my big future.

I am different because I can see further than anyone around me, bigger than everyone around me, and brighter than anyone around me.

I might be the only person that face failure more than anyone now but it is what make me grows. And I'm definately not the kind that would let bad things block my optimism and my great views ahead.

Even my depression is yhe key to my achievements, and only I can see that.

Hmm.. I have a bad weekend this week. Not only my work production rate going down by 90 degrees, but people around me isn't making me very happy too.

I don't want to be a control freak, but the least you could do is understand me.
I guess maybe its better if I careless of you and more of my own.

Sometimes when things can't work out, we just need a time off.
We need some alone time to clear our mind and make things work our own way again. There's nothing more important than making oneself comfortable of itself.
Only throgh this way, I can live a life I want.
It's not call selfishness, it's call totally disappointment and a wake up call for myseself

相信自己

要相信自己做得到。只有这样，就算再难的事，也难不倒我；就算再令人困扰的事，也打不倒我。

Sometimes I felt as if my existance seems not matter anymore, especially when I'm here.

 Who cares?

I live for myself and my love one. I have myself that still care of my own matter, and I also have my love one that still love me and valued me.

想要更正我的人生 ， 做理想中的自己

从新排列我的人生观；

从新排列我的目标；

从新排列我的行程表；

一切一切我对自己生活和人生态度的不满我都要通通把它删除掉，

然后再以自己新的心情

排列出自己理想中的新行程表，

过自己理想中想过的生活，

做理想中的自己。

Commitments

I always thought that keeping a commitment is never too difficult, all we need to do is that we know what we want, and we can keep our commitments easily. But now then I realize that, I was wrong. It isn't easy at all. Eventhough I want something so much, it doesn't necessary mean that it will be something that can motivate me enoght to take actions with it for a consistent period of time.


If only there's a time period that I could  set my mind into doing something without a single mistakes and concentrate to the fullest, that time period has to be, need to be now.

Right now, right here is the time to get ready with myself and live my life to the fullest. No regrets should be made. No disappointments should be made. Only promises and responsibilities.

During the Chinese New Year break

I don't have wi-fi in my house back in my hometown, so I don't get to update my blog often. However, thanks to my new Blackberry, I get to upload some photos. I'm just sad that I don't get the chance to buy a SD card yet. So, there is really a very limited memory enough for me to take pretty pictures.

Before the Chinese New Year Break, I met up with my buddies. We hung out for a day in the school, lunch and tea time in Equator, because one of my buddy is leaving town the coming day. We talked and talked till we get so excited without realizing most of the people in the crowds were staring at us like we were nuts. She shared her experience as a trainee nurse with us. It was so emotional. That's when I really get to realize the courage, generosity, patience and most of all, kindness that a nurse need to own within their hearts. She shared lots of stories with us that most of the people on earth like us would never experience. It was so sad. Then it was so touching. Sometimes it would also make someone felt collapsing. There is actually impossible to use a single word to describe what they have to do to get through all those things they been through. I think the difference between us and them is that they are the one that are really dealing with life.

Words that kept on repeating on my mind after what I heard from her :

" Life is fragile. People could lost their life so easily"

" Everyone need to find a way to get rid of their pressure, to let go of the thing that could make them emotionally collapse"

" Take a walk around the city."

These words may sound familiar to most of us, but when it comes out of someone who really experience something and feel those words as they speak, it could really hit me.

Then, During Chinese New Year, I spent most of my time with my family and relatives this year. Although I might feel bored sometimes because I do not gamble and have not get involve with gamble for like five years now? I do think I spend my time to the fullest, because I am with my family.

I did go to a friend house, but not every single day.
I did hang out with my friends, but not every single day.

In my last day of spending Chinese New Year in Sandakan during the break just ended, I spend all my time with my family before 9.30pm and with friend after that till around 2pm. That sounds good to me compared to what I did for the past few years.

Then, I didn't know why I get so emotional for the smallest thing now. On that same day, I was just spending like less than one hour watching Astro channel, I saw one commercial about family. All the sudden, these tears just rush down my face. I couldn't even get a hold of it.

Overall, this Chinese New Year is the only Chinese New Year that I have spend my time to the fullest compared to my past experience.

Finally! I am done with IELTS

Wow!! I'm finally done with IELTS.

I did my speaking test yesterday. I was a bit nervous and my tongue tangled up. The examiner asked me  about weather. I really have no idea what to talk about at first. Didn't expect that coming. Then, I talked about this one time when I dove to my tuition classes after class on a rainy day. Slowly, I move on to snowy day, sunny day, and finally sandstorm. Haha! I stopped a while when there was still about a minute left, the examiner called me to go on, and that's how I end up going as far as sandstorm.

Today, I had my listening, reading, and writing test.
For the listening part, I miss out around questions. I did not realize that there is this one last page, no wonder the people talking in the CD speak for such a long time and I have no idea what's going on until the last 2 questions.

Then, there is this reading test. I think I don't get 4 to 5 questions, then including those wrong one might get 10 of them wrong.

Last bu not least, I did my writing test. I had a feeling that I am going to do really bad when I look at the paper. I would be lucky if I can get 6.0. But them, I am always aiming higher.


Now I did what I did. I did feel bad for not putting effort on the practicing part. But what's done is done. No changes can be made. Just waiting for God to do the rest.

My New Year's Resolution

1. Lose 10kg within this year
2. Get GPA of at least 3.2 these coming semesters
3. Get into UMASS Boston
4. Take Better Care of my Skin ( because I have skin like a 30 years old woman)
5. Complete my Violin Book 1
6. Get a Blue Belt in Taekwondo
7. Drink at least a liter of plain water each day
8. Eat an apple a day
9. Eat a tomato a day
10. Take more photos of my daily life


Dreams will only come true when there is a dream.

DREAM BIG!